


i hate u, i love u

by efrondeur



Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Break Up, Cheating, I'm Sorry, M/M, Multi, No happy ending this time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-08-07 13:07:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7715974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/efrondeur/pseuds/efrondeur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who ever said love didn't hurt?</p>
            </blockquote>





	i hate u, i love u

**Author's Note:**

> Uuuhhh. This is feelsy. No happy ending this time.
> 
> Inspired by i hate u, i love u by gnash ft. Olivia O'Brien.

He woke up with a nose full of red locks. He sighed, tightening his arm around the man’s waist and burying his nose even deeper into his hair. He smelled like shea butter and coconut oil, a smell that always reminded him of a lazy afternoon on the beach, watching the sunset slowly on the horizon.

The room was filled with a bright, morning glow; the large window at the side of the room allowed the sun to shine in. There were birds chirping outside with the occasional coo from a pidgeon. No cars were on the street yet. It was peaceful, serene.

Roman was still asleep. His abdomen rose and fell slowly, breathing light, silent to someone who wasn’t trying to hear it.

After about an hour of drifting in and out of sleep, he felt Roman shift in his arms. Qrow hummed into his hair, keeping his eyes closed.

“Mornin’,” mumbled Roman, voice low and slow with sleep.

Qrow smiled and sighed, content as could be. “G’morning.”

Roman lifted up his arms, stretching them out as he yawned. He flexed his feet, pointing his toes, then relaxed them. Qrow opened his eyes to enjoy the graceful movements of his muscles as they stretched. Roman hummed and settled.

After a moment, he turned in Qrow’s arms, facing the black haired man. Qrow’s right hand ran up and down his side while Roman brought his left up to cup Qrow’s face. He leaned in a pressed a long, but soft kiss to Qrow’s lips. It was a gentle, simple motion that meant everything.

Qrow lost himself in that kiss, and, when Roman pulled back, he chased after the soft lips. Roman let out a breath of laughter before kissing Qrow again. That one kiss slowly became many more, all languid and soft.

Roman shifted onto his back slowly, pulling Qrow along with. Qrow crawled ontop of Roman, gradually settling his body down. Roman wrapped both his arms around Qrow’s neck, deepening their leisure kisses.

They fell into each other, soft, fleeting touches, pleased moans, and languid movements. It was the sweetest, most beautiful way to wake up either one had had in a long time.

 

* * *

 

It was a crowded night in the club. The lights flashing, music blaring so loud you had to yell to be able to hear anyone talk, making it hard to hear anyone’s drink orders. It would normally lead to a headache if Junior wasn’t so out of it. His mind was both cloudy and racing.

As he prepared a drink, Junior thought about how much he craved the feel of someone in his arms as he pressed kisses to every point of their body. Telling them how much he loved them. How much he cared about them. To hold them while they cried. To confess his own insecurities to. Someone he could share his memories, his love, his _life_ with.

It was even worse when there was a specific someone he wanted to be able to do that with, and that he could see said person grinding against his boyfriend while in Junior’s club.

That beautiful man was Roman Torchwick.

Junior would never try to break them up, but, god, did his heart wish he had the ability to do that. But Roman would never want a man like Junior. No, not someone who wasn’t confident. Not someone who didn’t have the best fashion sense or the slimmest body or the face of someone who could be a model.

So, Junior watched from the sidelines, silently pining for the man who won his heart long before he won Qrow’s. Junior wasn’t jealous; he really wasn’t. He knew that he would never win Roman’s heart. Instead, he vowed to be the best friend and wingman he could ever be. Just because he be in a relationship with him didn’t mean he couldn’t spend as much time as possible with Roman.

The two stopped dancing as the song winded down and another started, stumbling over to the bar. Junior approached them, a smile on his face that didn’t quite reach his pained eyes.

As they reached the bar, Junior got a good look at them. Roman’s eyes were dilated; he leaned on Qrow and crossed his legs at the ankle in a feeble attempt to hide his arousal. Qrow’s arm was slung around Roman’s shoulders, his hips angled towards Roman, probably hiding his own arousal against the redhead’s body.

“Hey, boys. What can I getcha?” asked Junior, trying to make himself sound chipper.

“One whiskey and a sex on the beach,” said Roman. Qrow tugged him closer for a second, smiling. Roman looked at him, all the love in the world plain as day in his eyes. The same love Junior craved to have directed towards himself. Junior’s heart constricted for a moment before he turned to make them their drinks.

He finished preparing their drinks and turned to give it to them, only to see them lip locked and pressed close together, Roman was also pressed against the counter. Junior looked to his left, jaw tight. He accidentally made eye contact with one of the henchmen who gave him a sympathetic look.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, steeling himself. He placed the drinks on the counter, harder than was strictly necessary. The two started; Roman turned and saw the drinks. He smiled sheepishly at Junior.

Qrow and Roman finished their drinks fairly quickly, too caught up in each other to really enjoy them. Qrow winked at Junior before he took Roman’s hand and led him out of the club.

Junior held himself together just long enough to watch them walk out of the bar. Once they were gone, he put his arms on the bar; he rested his head on his arms, taking a couple shaky breaths. Roman wasn’t his; he wasn’t Roman’s. He _couldn’t_ feel this way.

He took another breath, steeling himself yet again, and stood up so he could return to work, trying his hardest not to think about what Qrow and Roman were doing back in their apartment.

 

* * *

 

 

Roman loved Qrow; he loved Qrow more than he had ever loved anyone before. Roman had been taken advantage of before, too many times to count, so when Qrow waltzed into his life, he fell quick and he fell hard.

Qrow never put Roman on a pedestal, nor did he ever treat him like he was dirt. He treated him like a person. They didn’t see everything eye to eye, but they would never lay a hand on each other with ill intent. The two _loved_ each other.

Roman thought they always would. That he had actually found The One, but Roman made the mistake of introducing James, a good friend of his, to Qrow.

Originally, the three would hang out a lot: go drinking, invite the James over, etc. The more they spent time together, Roman started to notice that Qrow looked at James in a way that he had never looked at Roman. He looked at James like he was the world to him. Like he was drowning in the ocean and James was his rescuer.

Qrow would stand close to James, or touch his arm, brush past him, anything that led to physical contact. He would mimic James’ body language. His pupils would dilate whenever James’ voice got low, or James touched him for longer than was strictly necessary.

Roman did whatever he could to get in between whatever was happening. He did everything he could to do what Qrow wanted, to the point where before they would start arguing, Roman would immediately back down and agree. He tried to make the sex as good as he possible. Made breakfast-in-bed for Qrow most mornings. He just wanted to keep his boyfriend, but he felt him slowly slipping through his fingers.

Roman wore himself down. He wasn’t himself anymore and he hated it, but he hated the thought of losing Qrow even more.

But soon, James and Qrow hung out, just the two of them. Whenever Qrow left, Roman spent the whole time worrying that they were kissing or cuddling or planning how to get Roman out of Qrow’s life. A couple times when Qrow was gone long after he said he would be, Roman worried himself to the point where he actually got sick.

Roman started going to Junior’s club whenever Qrow was out with James; he couldn’t be alone in their apartment anymore. He talked with Junior, sometimes even playfully flirting. It was nice seeing Junior smile and flush, ducking his head and looking to see if anyone saw. Every once in awhile, Junior would flirt back. It was fun, and it made things hurt a little less.

Maybe that was just his way of getting through this.

 

* * *

 

Roman was _flirting_ with him. Junior hadn’t seen him with Qrow in weeks, and he hoped beyond all hope, as horrible as he felt about it, that the two had broken up.

He flirted back, whenever he could pull himself out of his excited haze enough to push a cohesive thought out of his mouth. He was in a constant state of elation whenever he was around Roman, and, one night, he finally mustered up the courage to ask him about Qrow.

Junior was cleaning a glass one slow night. The music wasn’t loud and there were more henchmen in the club than there were patrons. He had been talking with Roman for the better part of an hour.

Junior looked at Roman out of the corner of his eye. “Hey Roman?” he asked.

“Yeah, Baby Bear?” Roman took a sip from his drink.

Junior flushed slightly, a small smile gracing his lips. “I, uh, haven’t seen you with Qrow in a while, so, um, I was wondering if you two were still….” He cocked his head to the left and right.

Roman looked confused for a moment before connecting the dots. ‘Um… it’s kinda complicated,” answered Roman, shrugging. He looked down at his drink, face somber.

 _Oh_. Junior turned away, hiding his disappointment. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to press.”

“Nah, it’s fine.”

“Anything I can do to help?” Junior turned around and leaned on the counter across from Roman.

“No, I don’t think so,” said Roman in a small voice. He played with the straw in his drink. “I should, um… I should probably go.”

“Okay.” Roman started to pull out money to pay Junior, but he waved Roman off. “Don’t worry about it; it’s on the house.”

Roman gave him a small wave and an even smaller smile before he began the long walk out of the club.

Junior _really_ shouldn’t have asked.

 

* * *

 

Roman was back at the club a couple nights later, but it was packed, which was usual for a Friday night. He didn’t get much time to talk with Junior, but he didn’t really mind it. Instead, he was enjoying watching the people around him.

He liked to watch people dance. It was fun to see everyone’s styles, no two people were exactly the same no matter what they were doing.

That’s when he saw them. _James and Qrow_.

Qrow was essentially humping James’ leg while the taller man mouthed at Qrow’s throat. Their arms were wrapped tightly around each other. They were totally lost in each other, completely oblivious to the people around them, including a frozen Roman staring daggers at them.

Roman’s heart shattered in his chest.

He turned to face the bar. _What was he supposed to do?_ He couldn’t approach them, but he couldn’t leave and pretend that nothing happened.

Junior came over; he must’ve seen Roman’s panicked expression because he immediately put down the drink he was working on and stood in front of Roman.

“Roman? What’s going on?” asked Junior, sounding slightly panicked himself.

“Qrow,” said Roman quietly, his wide eyes slowly coming up to look at Junior.

“What? What about him?” He looked confused as ever. He picked up a bar rag and started wiping at the counter so he looked like he had a reason to have stopped filling the order.

Roman nodded his head over his shoulder where Qrow and James were still dancing.

Junior looked over and, after a minute of searching, he saw Qrow. He glanced back down to Roman, whose whole body had deflated. One of his hands was wrapped around his drink, the other lying on the counter. Junior reached out and covered his hand in his own. Roman sighed and turned his hand over, allowing Junior to hold his hand.

Roman stared down at his drink, not saying a single word. Junior rubbed his thumb back and forth at the bottom of Roman’s palm.

After a couple of minutes, Qrow and James made their way over to the bar. Junior released his hand. They stood right next to Roman, but neither seemed to notice; they were too wrapped up in each other.

Roman shied away from them. He didn’t want them to see him; he couldn’t deal with the confrontation right now.

Junior walked away before they could order.

Out of the corner, he saw James staring at him with a confused look.“Roman?” asked James, having to yell over the music. Roman took a deep breath before he turned to face him. He tried to smile, but he simply couldn’t.

“It’s so nice to see you!” yelled James. _Did he even know that he was helping Qrow cheat on him?_

Roman’s eyes shifted from James to Qrow, who had been staring at him, eyes wide. _Guess not_.

“Uh, Jay?” said Qrow. James turned to him. “I’m not feeling all that great. I think I’m gonna go home.”

“Oh.” James looked surprised. “Okay… I’ll see you Monday?” offered James.

“Um, yeah, sure.”

James leaned in and pecked Qrow on the lips, a gesture Qrow didn’t have time to return, before he left. Roman turned back to his drink, unwilling to face his boyfriend.

“Ro…,” started Qrow. Roman lifted up his hand to silence him. Qrow closed his mouth and looked at him expectantly.

Roman let out a long sigh. “Let’s just go home.”

After a moment, Qrow simply nodded.

Qrow had walked to the club, so Roman drove the two of them home. The ride was silent and awkward, either knowing how or where to start, so instead, they said nothing.

That continued all night. They walked into the apartment, got ready for bed, and laid down without a word passing between them. A gloomy blue tinted the apartment.

Qrow fell asleep fairly quickly. When Roman heard his quiet snores, he broke down into tears. He had no idea how long he cried, but he ended up passing out just before the sun started to rise.  


* * *

 

Qrow awoke on a rainy, cloudy morning, next to a man that seemed almost like a stranger. He had been in love with Roman once, but that had faded months ago.

He had fallen fast and hard for James, and, in all honesty, his relationship with Roman had been done for quite awhile. He never had many qualms being with James. James wouldn’t be with him if he was with Roman, so Qrow lied and said they had broken up. He was happy, and he was also pretty sure that Roman was fucking Junior anyways.

He got out of bed and planned his speech, so when Roman walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, he would be prepared. But he wasn’t.

When Roman walked out, he immediately started speaking.

“Roman, look,” started Qrow as Roman walked over to him. “I never meant to hur-” Roman cut him off with a kiss. He fisted Qrow’s shirt like it was his last lifeline. Qrow barely kissed back.

Roman pulled back. “I know, I know. It’s over. Just let me have this one moment.” The last part was barely a whisper. He wouldn’t look Qrow in the eye, instead he stared at his chest where he had Qrow’s shirt balled in his fists.

Qrow nodded slowly. He leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to Roman’s lips. Roman returned the kiss as he started to cry, but he held the kiss as long as he could.

When they pulled back, Roman took a couple steps back and looked at the ground. “I can be out by Friday.” His voice was small. He crossed one arm across his body, holding his bicep on the opposite arm.

“Where’re you gonna go?” asked Qrow.

“I can stay with Junior.”

 

* * *

 

 

Three weeks later he was sitting on the couch of Junior’s apartment. Junior had opened up his home to Roman, allowing him to stay indefinitely.

A couple days after he moved in, he realized that Junior had a crush on him. He wanted to like Junior back, even had a couple years ago, but he was too hung up on Qrow.

He had seen James and Qrow wandering around town: holding hands, getting dinner, laughing, smiling, kissing. It made him sick. There he was, lying around moping and feeling sorry for himself, while the man he had loved unconditionally was in love with someone else.

Junior walked into the room and sighed heavily, breaking Roman out of his thoughts.

Roman looked over at him. He looked worn down and tired. “Everything okay?” asked Roman.

“Yeah, I just… I’m tired Ro.” _Ro_. Qrow used to call him that. He couldn’t even remember the last time Qrow used his full name. “I’ll be fine after I sleep. You doin’ alright?”

Roman hummed the affirmative. His lips twisted as he thought for a moment. “Hey, how about we go to the club, get some drinks? You could take the night off for once.”

Junior sighed. “Y’know what? Sure. Let’s go.”

Roman jumped up from the couch and clapped his hands. He waltzed by Junior, slapping him on the back as he passed. “Let’s get drunk.”

 

* * *

 

Roman and Junior were four drinks in. They had been laughing and flirting the whole time. Roman was telling overly dramatized stories from his life, Junior his stories of peculiar or flat out hysterical customers.

Roman looked into the crowd of people, only to see James and Qrow yet again. Roman was fuming.

He grabbed Junior by the collar of his button up, and led him out to the dance floor. Before Junior could say anything, Roman wound his hands around Junior’s neck and starting to grind on him. Junior stuttered, but quickly fixed himself. He put his hands on Roman’s hips, bringing them flush together.

Roman moaned; Junior’s hands tightened. Roman pulled him down into a sloppy kiss. Junior groaned into his mouth as his body started to melt under Roman’s arms.

When Roman pulled back, he immediately looked to see if James or Qrow had seen them. He didn’t notice Junior’s breathing and heart rate quicken. He only saw that Qrow was watching them; he flashed a smirk towards the black haired man as he kept grinding against Junior. Qrow looked at Junior before turning back to James, ignoring them. Roman huffed in annoyance.

He turned back to Junior, who had been watching the silent exchange. There was a pained look in his eyes. His face sagged slightly. Roman pulled him down into another kiss. Junior’s breath hitched just before they connected. He brought one hand to cup the back of Roman’s head while the other moved to the small of his back.

Junior pulled back first. Roman tried to tug him back down, but Junior had none of it. He looked up at Qrow and James. He knew that this was just Roman trying to make Qrow feel worse, but, god, if he didn’t love the feel of Roman against him. He had wanted this for so long, but not in this way. He wanted Roman to love him, not see him as some tool against his ex.

But Roman was grinding on him. Kissing him. His heart was blooming in his chest. He wanted this, but he also didn’t.

Roman rested his head against Junior’s chest, breathing heavy as his arousal started to become prominent. Junior felt it against his thigh. He took a deep breath before lifting Roman’s head off of him. Roman looked up at him with wide, hopeful eyes.

Junior pressed a languid kiss to Roman’s lips. Roman let out a small noise. Junior rested his forehead against Roman’s, taking another deep breath.

His heart constricted as he made up his mind. “How ‘bout we get outta here?” asked Junior, voice loud enough for just Roman.

Roman nodded profusely. Junior led the two out of the club and down the half block to his apartment.

As he laid in bed that night with Roman sleeping naked against his side, guilt consumed him. Roman would hate him when he woke up, but, _fuck_ , he had the best night of his life. He also ruined any chance at a romantic relationship with the smaller man, possibly ruining their friendship as well. Well, more like _probably_.

Junior sighed and stared at the ceiling. God, he really fucked up.

**Author's Note:**

> Umm. Sorry.
> 
> [My tumblr](http://qrowisbae.tumblr.com)


End file.
